I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
