Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
