Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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