You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
