Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
