Christians are straight up FREAKS
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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