I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
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