maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
