with your own penis?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
