When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
