i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Randomize
