Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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