the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
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