that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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