yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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