I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
