You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
