I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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