the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
