Fine. I'll sleep in my office
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
