dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
