My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
