Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
