fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
