I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
