Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
