you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
