every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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