she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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