So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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