Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
false alarm. still invincible.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
