dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
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Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
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For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.