is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Who put my cat in the fridge?