I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?