That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
