I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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