Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
