beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
