Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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