Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Found your dick twin last night
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize