is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
