Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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