I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
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