Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
