I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
