Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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