rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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