I hate all girls vehemently.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I looked at my own cervix.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
