I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
