Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
