so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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