i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
