Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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