I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
