guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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