Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
