Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
not ubering you a puppy
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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