Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
