Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
