pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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