i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
