he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Randomize
