seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
