Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
