my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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