Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
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He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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