apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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